two posts in one day. maybe this breaks blog-world rules but i don’t care cause i make my own rules. but y’all seriously this is worth it. how amazing is this?! jay z has won me over yet again. (actually, my fascination with him began about 5 minutes ago, but i have been a beyonce fan for a while so i guess that indirectly made me a jay z fan too. right? right.)
ok if you need me i’ll just be laying in bed dreaming of running into jay z on the appalcart.
my freshman year, kaylee showed me this spoken word video and i watched it and thought “that’s cool.” but we watched it again last night and i thought “holy junk, this is so relevant.” sometimes i hear or see things years later and they have an entirely new meaning. the message hits my heart right when it is most vulnerable and the Lord uses it to shake my soul into realizing that there’s Someone much bigger than I at work in my heart. all the single ladies, can i get an amen that waiting for a man who has allowed the Lord to shape his heart is better than settling for man who has intentions of allowing the Lord to shape his heart?
she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s miss united states. just kidding, but she’s my bestie. and she’s home from colorado! like i mentioned a few post’s ago, most of my home friends were gone all summer doing cool things. but anna finally returned sunday and i could not have been happier. we met in ’97 and she’s been my better half ever since (that’s funny cause i was 4, but it’s true). mainly cause she let me be a diva growing up-and to be honest still does. for real for real for real though, she is such an honorable lady. she really is beauty and she really is grace. she’s humble, gracious, forgiving, understanding, a sexy babe, nurturing, attentive, hilarious, sometimes a space-case, welcoming, and did i mention her good looks? she’s going to have one very lucky husband one day. oh AND she has the voice of an angel. an angelic angel straight from heaven.
anna has taught me what it means to forgive because she forgave me so well when we were in high school. we had such a funky/weird falling out in like 10th grade, but the Lord used it for good (imagine that) and the two of us have never been closer. without fail, every time we catch up we realize that we are in the EXACT SAME PLACE IN LIFE. i’m not trying to be dramatic (http://www.hulu.com/watch/19279), but our lives are equal. but at the same time we are total opposites. so funny how that happens. so anna-i’m so thankful for you and your zeal for everything you put your hands to. i’m so happy i have you in my life.
do you ever feel like you have it all together and then three minutes later realize how messed up you are? i feel like that a lot, but in a good way. like “ah yes, I know what’s wrong with me! i need to be more loving.” and then i’m all like “oh shoot, that’s true but i’m also a self-righteous brat.” like that. like feeling so excited that the Lord revealed something new about my heart, but then constantly learning that there’s a million other things that are wrong with it. my attitude, my pride, my selfishness, my jealousy, my thoughts. ooh my, i could write seven hundred post about how thoughts take over my life. definitely still working on that area of my heart. because really, it’s a heart issue.
aaanyways, what i’m saying is that brokenness is a good thing. it means we are seeking the darkness within us and asking that the Lord clean it up and make it new and good. it’s a constant act, really. asking the Lord to shed light on my darkness and taking action when He does. asking that He make it clean, because y’all HE is the only one who can make it clean. i’d love to be able to go in there with a swiffer and some clorox and clean it myself so that i don’t have to admit that it needs cleaning, but that just isn’t how it works. but my goodness i’m always having to find enough humility to admit my darkness to the Lord once HE shows it to me. isn’t it funny that even though He is the one who reveals it we are still too ashamed to admit it and get it taken care of? maybe it’s just me. either way, listen to this song because it’s so good and true and amazing. p.s. happy saturday 🙂
look who finally made it back to NC! this summer has been so strange because most of the people i spend time with when i’m home from school have been so far away. and they are/were doing super cool things, even cooler than nannying. imagine that? but this is the magic week when they all start to trickle back into my lonely arms. these past two months have definitely made me grateful for the relationships i have and i’m learning not to take them for granted. so cammy, welcome home! i’m so thankful for you and your willingness to listen to the Lord and respond. this has by far been one of the oddest friendships i’ve ever had, seeing as how we would have been what’s commonly called ‘freinemies’ when we were in middle school. but look how far we’ve come! love ya. p.s. don’t mind that awkward arm, not sure what’s happening.
also, i have found the one whom my heart loves: symphony chocolate. try it, right now. uh-mazing.