grace

     I’m halfway writing this because it’s on my heart, and halfway because I don’t want to write this resume that’s due tomorrow. More so because it’s on my heart though.

     GRACE. grace. grace. grace.
     I woke up this morning, with a lot on my mind. But mostly, the feeling of grace. Not that I’m graceful, or that I’m full of grace. But more so why am I not full of grace. It’s because I’m sinful by nature. But as a follower of Christ, I’m called to rise above that sinful nature. Thankfully, I somehow don’t have Tuesday classes for the first half of the semester, so it leaves me with lots of time to do whatever I want, but hopefully to have longer quiet times. So that’s what I did today. As as soon as I picked up my bible, it was opened to Proverbs 6:16-19 
“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes, 
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies 
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”

Okay. Well that’s a wake up call. 
     My first reaction when I read something like this is normally “well that’s pretty straight forward, I hope I can remember all seven of those while I go about my day.” But these words kept hitting me deep. I had read them yesterday, and they were already underlined in my bible, so this was clearly not the first time I had read this passage. But oh. my. gosh. It hit me. I wanted to really, really understand what all this meant. Since I don’t have the worlds largest vocabulary, there were a lot of big words in this. I chose one word from each “hate” and looked it up. Here’s what I found:
-detestable: deserving intense dislike.
haughty: arrogantly superior and disdainful.
lying: intentionally speaking a false statement.
-innocent: not guilty of a crime or offense.
wicked: evil or morally wrong.
rush: move with urgent haste.
-false: not according with truth or fact.
dissension: disagreement that leads to discord. 

     I know, “really, Jessie, you didn’t know what lying, or false or innocent meant?” I did too know, thank you very much. But sometimes I think it’s important to read the actual definition of something. When I wrote those down (twice now), they hit my heart like a wrecking ball. Now, put each of those definitions into the verse. It doesn’t exactly sound grammatically correct, but the message is much more clear. 
     I realized, I do all of these things. It’s who I am. It’s who we are. But like I said earlier, as a believer, we are called to rise above that. It made me wonder, why do I do all these things against the will of my Father whom I love so much? Again, it’s who I am. But most importantly, and my favorite part of all of this, is that the Lord is full of so much grace he can look beyond it. And he pours that grace over me day after day after day. What a blessing! How loved we really are!
     So I decided that not as a new years resolution, but as a life resolution, I want to have more grace. And I want all my words to be filled with love and life. I don’t want to speak just to be heard, I want to speak to better the people around me. I want to speak words of truth. I want to say words that my Father would say. I want to show grace to the people who I don’t think should get it. But then again, I shouldn’t get it. But I do. 
grace, grace, grace, grace, grace. again and again. over and over. 
it’s shed on me every day. Lord let it overflow. 
I hope your words are full of life, truth, and grace today. I hope mine are too. 

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